Trivia

 1. Name the biggest island in the world.

Uhhhhh.....

Answer: Greenland

Huh.

 

 

2. Which country produces the most coffee in the world?

This is gonna sound so ignorant. Brazil?? Maybe??

Answer: Brazil

I got it right? Cool. Coffee. Brazil. Mental note.

 

 

3. How many Grammys does John Legend have?

I don't think I could tell you who John Legend even is. Is he the guy that did the "All of Me" thing? He plays the piano??

Seven. Final answer.

Answer: Ten.

Ok.

 

 

4. What is the brightest star in the sky?

Serious.

Answer: Sirius

I spelled it wrong, but it still counts.

 

 

5. How many wives did Henry VIII have?

Six. 

~Divorced, beheaded, and died, divorced, beheaded, survived. I'm Henry the Eighth, I had six sorry wives, I'm sorry to say I ruined their lives~

Answer: Six

 

 

6. What nut is used to make marzipan?

Almonds.

Does that mean that you could mix cyanide with marzipan and easily camouflage the flavor? Not that I'm planning to poison anyone anytime soon. 

I had these little marzipan pigs once. They were pretty good. I'm ambivalent to marzipan.

Answer: Almonds

 

 

7. What is it called when a bottle of champagne is open opened with a sword?

Splicing? Cham-pain. Glass everywhere. En-cork! A surprise. The way I got banned from a cousin's wedding. Just kidding, I never went to my cousin's wedding. The pirate convention and the ballroom mixed up their drink orders. I dunno, what is it?

Answer: Sabering

Lame. Mine were better.

 

 

8. What color is a giraffe's tongue?

Sort of a grey purple-y color. I know because I got licked by a giraffe at a zoo once. It was like being impromptu Nickelodeon slimed. Their tongues are so long it didn't even have to lean down much to twist my hair in its mouth spaghetti-style. I don't think either of us really got something from it.

Answer: Blue

Eh, I guess.

 

 

9. What country has the most vending machines per capita?

I'm going to guess it's somewhere fairly technologically advanced that likes a variety of fun snacks and wacky drinks and stuff, hence having a bunch of vending machines. Japan? South Korea? I'm going with Japan.

Answer: Japan

I've tried those matcha kit-kats. They taste like lawn clippings dipped in white chocolate. Not bad tho.

 

 

10. What is the most frequently sold item at Walmart?

I know the most frequently stolen item at Walmart is baby formula. 

That's why they lock it in a case. Wouldn't want any of those greedy babies to have any food that wasn't earned by someone participating in the soul-crushing daily grind of capitalism. 

Just imagine the chaos. Babies and their guardian/s worrying about just shelter? What's next? Those whiny millennials feeling entitled to health care and basic safety? People demanding schools to be funded with the tax money we've been using to line the pockets of our favorite money-huffing billionaires? Expecting accountability from your soul-less oligarchical corporate overlords? Not in my America!

What was I saying? Oh. Um. Razor blades or something? Toothpaste? Deodorant.

I'll go with deodorant.

Answer: Banana

Like, just a single one? Banana? 

 

 

11. What was the first toy to be advertised on television?

Lawn darts? The swing-wing. Raggedy-Ann? Yoyos. Jacks?

Answer: Mr. Potato Head

Please, I'm Gen Z. It's Mx. Potato Head to you. The potato now uses neopronouns and that's definitely something that people both wanted/and people should be super upset over. (Sarcasm, if you couldn't tell.)

(Add that to the list of sentences that would one-hit kill the 50's producers who made the ad)

(Also neopronouns are cool actually, fight me) 

12. What are the folds on a cat's ears called?

I should absolutely know this one. The extra flab on a cat's stomach is called the "Primordial Pouch". Uhhhhhhhhhhhh......

I give up. I'm a fake cat expert. 

Answer: Henry's Pockets

I was wrong, I thought I had heard of it and I'd forgotten. Nope. What in Cat's name is a Henry's Pocket?? Who is Henry? Why has he been storing things in cats' ears?

Also known as the cutaneous marginal pouch. No explanation as to why it's called Henry's Pocket. Hmm.

 

 

13. What are baby owls called?

Owlets. Owlettes? Owlets.

Answer: Owlets or nestlings

 

14. On average, how long does it take food to pass through the human body?

Twelve hours? Twenty-four? 

Answer: 53 Hours

Wow. That's a lot more than I thought.

 

 

15. Which country owns every panda in the world?

China. They gave pandas as a gift to some american or something, right? But they were just rentals or still... copyrighted?? or something like that. 

Answer: China

I just tried to search for the story I was thinking of. I entered "Panda" into the search bar and the only wikipedia page it would give me was for Panda Express. 

No, I want the animal. Y'know, like the thing most people care about seeing more?

Yeah. All pandas outside of China are on loan, as a part of something called "Panda Diplomacy". Theodore Roosevelt also became one of the first Westerners to shoot a panda. I'm glad you're dead, Teddy. Not everything new has to be shot, colonizer. Some things are just meant to be appreciated from afar. Or to go viral on Youtube by sneezing.

(Also, sidenote: I love Wikipedia's description of pandas. "It is characterised by its bold black-and-white coat and rotund body."  Rotund. )

16. What is the most common color of toilet paper in France?

White so that the French can use it as an emergency flag. 

(There, now I just need to dump some tea into a harbor and bake my husband an apple pie and I'll have passed the American initiation ceremony. Oh wait, I think there was something about an eagle. Or was it hamburgers? Baseball? Having a surprising amount of restrictions and fear tactics for a country that labels itself as "free"? 

Am I sounding too America bashing? America good. My job fulfills me and I love paying taxes. Democracy. The secret police are good for the economy. Thanks, Biden! You really made good on all those promises you made and I'm so glad my entire generation didn't have to mercilessly bully you into caring about human life with every single new policy. I bleed red, white and blue. Mostly because I haven't seen a doctor for a decade because I want to be able to eat this month. Yay!)

Pink or something? On second thought, no. Don't do that.

Answer: Pink

Oh. Does that not look like blood all the time? How do they dye it? Why do they dye it? Just for fun?

 

 

17. Who invented the word vomit?

No idea.

Answer: William Shakspeare

Makes sense.

 

 

18. Coprastastaphobia is the fear of what?

Getting trivia wrong. No idea, 

Answer: Constipation

I feel like I call that "common sense". I don't think anyone is ever jazzed to have that happen to them.

 

 

19. PhD stands for what?

Professional health Doctor. Prevents h-alotta Death. Physical Health Doctorate? 

Answer: Doctor of Philosophy

That doesn't EVen MATch? Philosophy h-of Doctor? Why isn't it DP? DhP? What does the H stand for? 

 

 

20. The world's longest running TV show is what?

Supernatural. Star Trek? The Simpsons? The Simpsons sounds right-ish.

The Simpsons.

Answer: Sabado Gigiante

Cool. Never heard of it.

 

 

21. Which country has not fought a war since 1814?

No-feitie-sance1814-landia. I don't know, I'm small and stupid and tired. I am just a little creature. No think.

Answer: Sweden

 

 

22. Spinach is high in which mineral?

Iron.

Answer: Iron

 

 

23. In the film Babe, what type of animal was Babe?

Pig.

 ~If I had words to make a day for you~ ~I'd make a morning golden and true~

And then there were mice or something? Am I crazy? Didn't the mice sing at some point? They were in like, a cupboard or a cabinet? Were they blind mice? I know the farmer sang it. He was in the scene with the chicken weather-vane thing?

Answer: A pig 

 24. What's the total number of dots on a pair of dice?

The dots are called "Pips".   42.    I don't wanna do any math today. 

Answer: 42

I WAS RIGHT? I just went with the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy thing.

25.  Which bird has the largest wingspan?

Albatross, right?

Answer: Albatross

YEAH! 

 

 

I don't know how many of those I guessed correctly based on actual knowledge, but I'm telling myself I won. Yay, me!